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Ex fucks trans when im away3/27/2023 ![]() ![]() To help guide you, let's talk about the two main reasons people rely on labels. You’re going from being perceived as “straight” to being perceived as “gay,” and not because of any internal introspection or sexual feelings rather, your identity is based on one person who happened to transition. They were queer before the transition, and they’re still queer after. You’re not a part of the LGBTQ+ community, whereas lesbians are. Your situation is slightly different because you’re straight. The person who transitioned was very “butch,” so it wasn’t that big of a surprise or change, and the person dating them was always attracted to their masculine energy. I know of a few lesbian pairs who'd been together for years, then one partner transitioned, and they stayed together. While you may think your situation is unheard of, it’s not that uncommon among lesbian couples. Oh, and we all think you’re secretly gay after you say “no homo,” so you’re not helping your cause. (But a note to all you straight men: Cut that shit out. This is the one time I grant permission to say “no homo,” because in this particular instance, it’s relevant and it made me laugh. And If we broke up for whatever the reason, I’d only date women.Ĭan I still identify as straight, or do I technically have to say I'm gay now? I’m not gay, right? I know I’m now married and deeply in love with a man, but I have zero attraction to any other men besides my partner. It took me a little while to get used to him dressing and presenting as a man, and I definitely still feel a little uncomfortable telling my friends and family about it, but all things considered, our relationship is good.Įxcept for the fact that both he and my friends joke that I’m gay now, since I’m married to a man. He’s definitely happier, we have far fewer arguments, and our sex life feels brand new. Our relationship has gotten so much better since he came out as trans. When I asked if that means he likes women, he clarified that he’s a gay trans man, so he still loves me and wants to remain married. ![]() During quarantine, he came out as a trans man. I have been married to my partner now for seven years. To be honest the Transmisogyny overshadows the Transphobia.Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to play He said "I'll do whatever I want with your songs" Russ replied "Absu is about barbarism and mysticism and blah blah blah.There is no place for a woman in this band" Then I said "And you just fired the person you consider to be the best guitarist in the world for coming out to you as trans. This is rock history we are making with this album" I'm literally not making this up. C'mon you are the best guitarist in the world. Then Russ said "Paul can't play like you. I don't want any part of this.this is a fucking nightmare." Why don't you get Paul to re-record the guitar on the songs he wrote, and leave my music completely out of this. Well I am ashamed to have my music associated with a little man like you. YOU are ashamed to be on a stage with me. Then I said "what the fuck are you talking about? my decision to not suffer in a fucking personal prison? you think I should go back into my cell and hide myself? I have nothing to hide. Russ said "You fired yourself.with your decision". His response: "Uh, why?" I said, "First tell me why you fired me," and his response was "You fired yourself.with your decision". When he references "your decision" he's talking about my "decision" to transition.Īfter receiving this text I called Russ back and told him he couldn't use my playing or my songs on the album we just recorded. Shortly after that, Russ fired me in a text message (attached). Nothing was different about my performance in the band or my quality as a person. I figured their obvious negativity would resolve itself once the realization had time to settle. Like, they didn't even want to share a hotel room with me. I just let them know I was trans, and that's it. I didn't ask them to call me a different name or use different pronouns. This was the moment everything changed between us. I hope that's not the case.ĭuring our final tour in 2017 I told my bandmates that I'm trans. If they just recorded a full new 12 song album that's none of my business, but it'd be incredibly disappointing to learn that after kicking me out they still used my playing and songs. I need to find a way to talk about this in more detail This is not the whole story, I'm just starting it here right now.it's really hard and painful for me. ![]()
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